Oscars Live Blog

9:10 PM

Well, that’s a wrap. I could have used some more Steve n’ Alec — there was so much potential there, completely untapped (Snuggie bit aside).

If tonight is any indication of future Stanford events — and you know I believe it is — I’m calling the election for Peacock/Bakke. But never say never: Sandy beat Meryl and Helen, and the Dude took out the Holocaust movie and the Iraq movie. Anything can happen — you just have to let the statues fall where they may.

9:00 PM

It’s Tom Hanks, ladies and gentlemen — your Academy Governor — presenting Best Picture.

IT’S THE HURT LOCKER!

See ya, Avatar. Technology is cool — but ya gotta tell a story, bra.

8:57 PM

Best Director, presented by Barbara Streisand. It’s Cameron-vs-Bigelow for all the marbles. Sorry, QT.

“The time has come,” or so says Barb. It’s Katherine Bigelow! The first woman to win a Best Director Oscar. The cheers in the auditorium are noticeably higher-pitched. (As are the cheers here at home.)

5-3.

8:50 PM

Best Actress (in a Leading Role)! I want this to be Meryl Streep, and I want it badly. If I couldn’t have her, I’d want Helen Mirren. Unfortunately, I’m not getting either, I’m pretty sure. It’s going to be Sandra Bullock. It’s the comedy actors’ year!

Same setup — co-stars from past and present telling us why their lady deserves the prize. Michael Sheen (my second favourite actor and favourite Tony Blair) boasting about Helen Mirren takes top billing — Helen has a spiderweb tattoo on her hand?! Oprah vouches for Gabourey Sidibe, and though Oprah helped produce the movie, I’m wondering if the two have ever met — the young actress looks seriously surprised. And I think Oprah said it all when she said, “Here you are, Gabourey, nominated in the same category as Meryl Streep.” … Which means Meryl Streep should win. Come on, people. –And Stanley Tucci echoed my sentiments from earlier, verbatim: “Meryl Streep is simply the best!!!”

And the winner is… Sandra Bullock. Oh, but she won me back: “Did I earn this, or did I just wear you down?” Even in her acceptance speech, Sandy reaches back into her strongest suit — comedy. Meryl Streep is such a good kisser, isn’t she?

Meryl, you’ll always be my girl.

8:36 PM

Best Actor (in a Leading Role)! As much as I want it to be the fantastic and under-appreciated Jeremy Renner, it’s got to be Jeff Bridges. The dude will abide.

…This is an awkward set-up. Co-stars of the nominees give testimonies to how much each actor deserves the award. While it’s wonderful to see Tim Robbins again (and reminisce about the greatest movie of all time, The Shawshank Redemption), this feels a little like a party that just can’t get off the ground. And really, Academy, really, you’re going to let Colin Ferrell speak for Jeremy Renner? Really?!?!

It’s Jeff Bridges for Crazy Heart, and, let’s face it, it’s time to give this guy some hardware.

8:20 PM

Kathy Bates presents Avatar as a Best Picture nod, stating that it is remarkable because (among other things) it is the highest grossing motion picture of all time. This statement is remarkable because (among other things) Kathy Bates starred in the movie that Avatar beat out to claim that record, Titanic, which was also directed by James Cameron.

I reiterate — nothing is coincidence in Hollywood.

8:17 PM

Best Foreign Language Film. Is Avatar eligible for this category? Or Star Trek, for that matter?

Apparently not. It’s El Secreto de sus Ojos. However, it’s the German language nominee, Das Weisse Band, that looks to be the Best Date Movie of the year — burning buildings, stern priests, and general misery.

8:08 PM

The Hurt Locker wins Best Film Editing. 4-3, baby.

Also, I loved Steve and Alec curled up in Snuggies backstage — I especially loved that they were sitting so far apart on the couch. Those guys love each other.

8:03 PM

Best Documentary Feature, presented by Matt Damon. This is the first time the Academy members have seen any documentary footage since… last year!

It’s The Cove. It’s about dolphins. Hey, everyone who’s taken PoliSci 1 — remember that film about purse seine fishing we watched with River Phoenix and George C. Scott? Yeah, that was awesome.

7:58 PM

The hottie duo, Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler, present the award for Best Visual Effects. (Ironically, they really are this hot.) This one has got to be Avatar — any other year, Star Trek, any other year.

We’re at 3-all, as Avatar (deservedly) takes this one home.

7:51 PM

AH-HAH. It was for Best Original Score. Well, Avatar had the most flips, the most break-dancing, and it went last in the line-up, so…

Up!

7:48 PM

Why are people dancing on stage right now? Confused. Very.

7:40 PM

James Taylor sings “All My Life” in accompaniment to the In Memoriam montage — led off by our dearly missed Patrick Swayze. Other notable passings: Brittany Murphy, Roy Disney, Michael Jackson, Natasha Richardson, and Karl Malden.

7:37 PM

Avatar beats out The Hurt Locker in Best Cinematography, bringing the score to 3-2, The Hurt Locker.

7:30 PM

Best Sound Editing, presented by both my favorite and least favorite actor from my generation. Zac Efron, I’m yours forever. Anna Kendrick, I’m sorry, but have you met Emma Watson?

The Hurt Locker beats Avatar! This is the first category they’ve gone head-to-head in.

Best Sound Mixing follows quickly — and it’s The Hurt Locker again! And James Cameron falls behind ex-wife Katherine Bigelow 3-1.

7:15 PM

Paranormal Activity gets some love!

Why the Twilight Twins are presenting the Horror montage, I’ll never know.

7:12 PM

Steve and Alec are back — for too brief a time. Can we get a little more hosting?

SJP announcing Best Costume design is terrible for two reasons: 1) it’s a horrible typecast, and 2) she’s ORANGE. Tom Ford announcing Best Costume design is awesome for two reasons: 1) it’s a perfect typecast, and 2) suck on that, Gucci.

The Young Victoria wins. And the lady who picked it up is a terrible human being: “Well, I actually already have two of these… and [insert person who made award possible's name here], this is really for you, but I’m going to take it home tonight.”

7:07 PM

Sigourney Weaver relives her one good film while announcing Best Art Direction. It’s Avatar. Rats. I wanted Sherlock Holmes to get more play. That movie was awesome.

7:04 PM

Cervical cancer awareness ad in the guise of a perfume ad. You’ve been warned.

7:00 PM

Robin Williams, ladies and gentlemen:”The Governor’s Ball will be held later this evening — just one of many balls being held all over Hollywood tonight.”

Best Supporting Actress: No one from Up in the Air is allowed to win. Not allowed. It’s going to be Mo’Nique, if I’ve learned anything from the previous category or the previous 2 months of Oscar run-up coverage. But Maggie G is the one who has my heart.

The clips they showed of the five movies made the result clear before the envelope was opened. No one was surprised when Mo’Nique took the stage to claim her little golden man. Way to go, Mo’.

6:50 PM

Best Adapted Screenplay: I’m pulling for In the Loop. Best film of the year, hands down. (But I’m a Political Science major. And an Anglophile.)

And it’s… Precious. Yep, should’ve seen that one coming.

6:40 PM

Ben Stiller announces for Best Makeup — once a male model, always a male model. His Na’vi eyes are pretty close to the real deal, but his hair is a little Captain Jack Sparrow-ish.

Star Trek wins! Zoe Saldana’s best film of the year, in my opinion. James Tiberius Kirk and JJ Abrams are a winning combination in any field.

6:35 PM

Best Short Film, Animated: If it’s not Wallace and Gromit, no one cares.

It’s not Wallace and Gromit. It’s Logorama — the 5-second clip they showed involved Ronald McDonald riding a motorcycle past Jack Daniels logos. No one cares.

Best Documentary Short: Music by Prudence. Who is the crazy woman who interrupted the winner? It’s a reverse Kanye.

Best Short Film, Live Action: The New Tenants. There is apparently a zero-tolerance rule this year on speaking over your time, and the second guy didn’t get to talk at all. Let’s see if it’s enforced in the categories that actually matter.

6:18 PM

If you see Matthew Broderick, you are now obligated to say, “Hey Ferris — this your day off?”

6:15 PM

Alec Balwin gives Tina Fey love — well-deserved. Also, I love RDJ.

Best Original Screenplay: I observe, “Lots of war movies, hm?” Jordan: “It’s the Oscars, Erin.” Sometimes I forget that there is no such thing as coincidence in Hollywood.

The Hurt Locker nabs it! And one point for Katherine Bigelow — though it doesn’t really count, because Avatar wasn’t in the running. And the first political point is made as well — a jab against the wars by the winning screenwriter, Mark Boal.

6:05 PM

Best Original Song: Randy Newman gets shown up by the guys from Crazy Heart. I only wish Jeff Bridges (or Colin Farrell — who knew he was in that movie?!) would sing it.

6:00 PM

Animated Film: Cute little intros!

Up! Up wins! Sorry, Clooney et al… you can’t beat a Pixar film. Though our distinguished blog editor thinks that “people need to stop thinking these Pixar movies are awesome,” the Academy members (and everyone else with a heart) clearly disagree.

5:50 PM

Best actor in a Supporting Role: If this one doesn’t go to Christoph Waltz, then there is something wrong with the Academy. (Something else wrong.) While I wait for the inevitable, I am very much enjoying the only bit of The Last Station I will ever see — Captain von Trapp as Leo Tolstoy.

Oh, good, it went to the Nazi. Next!

5:40 PM

I love a good audience shout-out. Best one by far was the similarity between Steve Martin and Gabourey Sidibe: in their first movies, they were both born a poor black child.

5:30 PM

NPH!!!!!!!

5:22 PM

Confused — thought the show was starting at 5. I have been duped into watching Red Carpet Coverage. A few good things are emerging from beneath the deluge of designer names:

I am reminded that Kate Winslet has an accent in real life.

Miley Cyrus is still ridiculous; George Clooney is still hot.

We hear that Gabourey Sidibe “texts people a lot.”

Whoopi Goldberg is in an awful commercial for Poise, and Elaine from Seinfeld and Sue Sylvester from Glee were in a self-referential Healthy Choice ad.

Helen Mirren is gorgeous, and Meryl Streep is simply the best.

5:00 PM

It’s not your typical Sunday night. If you’ve been alive for even one of the past 81 years, you know what tonight’s all about — who’s wearing whom, which red carpet interviewer is the most desperate, and why veteran actors get snubbed by the latest US Weekly obsession. But there is a certain significance to this 82nd Academy Awards — for one, SNL host rivals Alec Baldwin and Steve Martin will be co-hosting, which is the best idea the Academy has had since giving Jon Stewart the gig (too bad no one liked him). The other significant element stems from my bold prediction from yesterday: the winner of tonight’s Best Picture Oscar will determine which slate will become our future ASSU Exec. So watch closely — your future is in the Academy’s hands.

(Billy Crystal, it hasn’t been the same since you left. This one’s for you.)